Wow, The Things We Do
by Magical Flying Pie
Summary: 50 funny little things you don't see in the books. Inspired by 50 words from WindowChild and ShadowPalace one-shot contest. This was for the contest but I think I did it wrong so, not sure if I can still enter. Hope you guys like it though!
1. Chapter 1 Numbers 1 to 25

**A/N: Just wanted tell you real fast about how the each prompt works, the word that inspired the prompt is in bold faced and the point of view that the prompt is in directly follows. This is a 50 word prompt but I split it into 2 chapters because if I didn't this chapter would be way too long so, I'm done! Enjoy.**

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**1. Pocket**

Third Person-

Riptide's pad where he hangs with his homies conveniently located in Percy's pocket!

**2. Keep**

Third Person-

Conner: Welcome to the Camp lost and keep!

Thalia: Lost and keep?

Travis: Yup! You lose it, we keep it!

Conner: But you can come and visit it between the hours of 12 P.M and 4 P.M

Thalia: But my pen says Thalia! What in the world are you going to do with a pen with my name on it?!

Conner takes pen from Thalia

Conner: If I get a girlfriend whose name is Thalia, this can be her birthday present!

Thalia's eyes narrow and twitch, she then hits Conner in the nose and takes back her pen.

**3. Shine**

Percy-

Well, I think we all agree the gods and goddesses are all quite shiny in their true forms. So shiny in fact we're not allowed to see the shinyness because apparantly we can't handle it! Demigod discrimintion!

**4. Crack**

Percy-

You know that one huge crack Nico made in the dining pavilion? Well Chiron was afraid that it might open up again so I said I would totally handle it so now you don't have to worry about it! I fixed it with gum.

At Camp Half Blood

Campers: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chiron: PERCYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**5. Hide**

Percy-

You know how Rick always talks about about our capture the flag games? Well, in actuality we play Hide and seek way more! Rick thought it was too babyish and made us seem uncool though so he cut it out, pssh! Please! Like I could ever be uncool! Oh my goodness! Dora lollipops!

**6. Spoon**

Percy-

A spoon? Spoon? Really? I guess I use it to eat soup? Wait!!!!! No! It's time fooooooooooooor...

America's Next Top Inanimate Object! With special guest, last year's winner Blue Hairbrush!

**7. Lure**

Annabeth-

Did I ever mention Percy is deathly afraid of escalators? Elevators are fine but not escalators. Grover and I tried to help him overcome his fear so we lured him on with a cookie. He had a panic attack, spazzed out and fell off just as we got to the second floor.

**8. Sin**

Nico-

Today I decided to create "Nico's Seven Deadly Sins" meaning, if you do any of these things, you'll die. Anyway! So,

1. Thou shall never take my lamp for reasons...that....are none of your business!

shall not disturb me when I am having my polka time!

me holding candle, you better walk away fast.

shall not eat my lollipops!!!!!

thou see a pickle in my cabin, don't touch it.

NOT EAT MY PUDDING! CONNOR!

cloudy, MINE!

I got my eyes on you!

**9. Door**

Annabeth-

Ah, the door, a vital part of one of Thalia and me's favorite pastime.

FLASHBACK

Ding Dong

Percy: Hello?

Annabeth: HA! I just ding dong ditched you!

Thalia: Annabeth?

Man!

Annabeth: Be quiet.

**10. Wind**

Third Person-

Nico: Be free little bird!

Nico opens the golden cage and frees the small blue bird. It flutters away on the wind, singing thanks to Nico.

**11. Bell**

Nico-

Nico: MY LAMP! WHERES MY LAMP?!! EVERYBODY SOUND THE ALARMS! SOUND THE BELLS! THERES A LAMP THIEF IN THE CAMP! I REPEAT THERE IS A LAMP THIE-

Annabeth: Hey Nico.

Shes holding my lamp!

Nico: What are you doing with my lamp?!

I quickly snatched it back and she still that stupid smille on her face!

Annabeth: I took it the lamp polisher!

Nico: IT'S BEEN CONTAMINATED!

**12. Lend**

Third Person-

Thalia: I promise to guard the pencil that Percy has lended me with my life

Percy: And never let it out of your sight!

Thalia: And never let it out of my sight! Happy?!

Percy: Yes, you may go.

Thalia: Finally!

CRACK!

Percy slowly turns to Thalia

Thalia: Oops?

**13. Triangle**

Third Person-

Baby Demigod is trying to put circle block into square hole.

Baby: No more!

Grover: Come on! If you don't learn your shapes how are you supposed to seperate triangular monsters from circular monsters?

Baby takes triangle block shove it into the square hole.

Baby: Yay!

Grover: What?!

**14. Satin**

Nico-

I don't know, but Aphrodite kids wear it a lot and it's usually pink or blue or maybe green? They have some that's rainbow colored!

**15. Swim**

Percy-

Some people say I love to swim, so much that it's unhealthy, which is actually pretty much impossible for a son of Poseidon but there was this one time.... It was during heavy lightning storm when everyone was supposed to be inside but I was like "Pssh! Whatevs!" and then I ran outside and realized I forgot my pants, ran back, got the pants, and then ran into the ocean. I had been swimming for about 5 minutes when suddenly I got struck by lightning! BUT! Then I got super human powers, which I kinda already had, but then I got more! Then I got struck by lighting again I lost the powers. *sigh*

**16. Mane**

Percy-

The Nemean lion had a mane, it was really sparkly. When I slayed it I got to keep it's fur but I gave it to my dad, wonder what he did with it?

Swishin at the Disco!

The Nemean lion fur hangs sparkling in ball form above the dance floor. Poseidon slides out onto the dance floor decked out in full elvis suit with the flared pants and sideburns.

Poseidon: Thank you, thank you very much!

**17. Real**

Percy-

It's time for... Demigods Keepin it Real! Buh buh buh dadadada buh buh dadadada yah! With your host me! Percy Jackson folks! Thank you thank you thank you, please you're too , let's start with the interviews!

Thalia: Hey there! Well you know we may seem like we live really different lives from mortals but really, we deal the same kind of things as you do except you know we have to fight monsters 24/7, we've got awesome powers and we're half god but you know besides that our lives are pretty much identical!

Nico: Yeah I mean,you'd think all this power would go t oue heads but somehow we keep ourselves grounded. Plus if we don't our parents might blow us up so you know, there's an incentive!

Annabeth: We're really just normal kids we have homework and chores like saving the world for example! You know that ones a toughie but it's gotta get done!

There you have it for this week on Demigods Keepin It Real! Tune in next week for hobbies! We like archery and stabbing things how about you?!

**18. Spain**

Annabeth-

What does Spain have to do with anything? We didn't even go there! But anyway, um, we did a social studies project on it once. It wasn't a good experiance.

Percy: Okay so steady...steady-

Annabeth: Percy I havn't even touched it yet!

Percy: Well! If this thing falls we're done for! It's 5 A.M and we don't have time to make another one!

Annabeth: You don't think I know that?!

**19. Hold** (This is a continuation of Spain)

Nico-

Annabeth and Percy sure are cranky when they've been up all night making a diorama. I know from personal experiance.

Nico: Come my monkey minions!

We walked in a parade Beatles style all the way to the Athena cabin!

Nico: HI!

Annabeth and Percy both jumped like a foot off the ground and almost fell down.

Percy: What do you want Nico?!

Nico: Well Mr. Cranky Pants, I have come to hang out! Doesn't anyone just hang out anymore?!

Annabeth: Nico get out! We are extremely busy!

Percy: Why are you even up at 5 A.M?

Nico: Not important! Now entertain me!

Percy and Annabeth looked at each other at the same time and this weird look on their faces....

Nico: You guys! Let me out! Come on! Don't just leave me here!

They tied me to a tree!

Nico: * grumble grumble grumble*

Monkey1: Ooo aah ooh!

Nico: Juarez! Thank goodness! Help me out!

Juarez untied me and the rest of my monkey minions crowded together in front of me.

Nico: Alright, so now what are we gonna do?

Monkey264: Aaaahh! Ohh aah oo!

Nico: Oh my goodness that is the best plan EVER!

Monkey Minions: Ohh! Ahhh oo! Eeee!

Nico: Hold it!

My monkey minions obediantly silenced.

Nico: I get to drive.

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Third Person:

Annabeth: We finished.

Percy: I don't think I've ever seen anything more beautiful at 5:30 in the morning.

Annabeth and Percy: * relieved sigh*

Rumble Rumble Rumble

Annabeth: What was that?

Percy: I don't know, I think it came from over ther-

Nico: JUAREZ THAT'S THE GAS PEDAL!

Nico his monkey minions and the camp van come smashing through the East wall of the Athena Cabin and keep going right on through, smashing the precious diorama, the table it was sitting on and the West wall.

Percy and Annabeth: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nico: NOT REVERSE JUAREZ!

Annabeth and Percy: NICOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**20. Spy**

Grover-

Nico: I spy with my little eye something awesome.

Grover: What do you mean something awesome? You have to say something I can see.

Nico: How can you not see the awesomness?!

Grover: Is the T.V?

Nico: No! Don't you see something even more awesomer than the T.V in this room?

Grover: Is it the refrigerator?

Nico: Dude it's me!

Grover: You can't choose yourself when you're playing I Spy!

Nico: I can, I did and I SPIED!

**21. Lamb**

Percy-

Mary had a little man-eating lamb man-eating lamb man-eating lamb, Mary had a little man-eating lamb who really really wanted me for a snack!

**22. Roof**

Zues-

Swiffer, DUH! How else do you think we get rid of all those pesky cobwebs from the corners of the roof of the world?

**23. Line**

Luke-

Conga line on the lido deck!

**24. Side**

Kronos-

Kronos: I want the butter melted in with the bacon grease and don't forget my fried big mac on the side!

Random Dracanae Waiter: Heart attack on a plate much?

Kronos grabs the waiter by the collar with veins popping out of his eyes.

Kronos: I AM IN A BOTTEMLESS PIT OF DARKNESS AND DESPAIR! I DON'T NEED YOU GIVING ME GRIEF ABOUT MY CHOLESTEROL LEVEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**25. Hand**

Third Person-

Atlas: Hey! Hey little boy! Come over here! Can you lend me a hand?

Little boy: I don't think so.... Mommy says not to trust strangers.

Atlas: I'm not a stranger! I'm your long lost uncle from Tahiti!

Little Boy: NO!

Atlas: Come on! I've got CANDY!

Little Boy: STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!

Atlas: SHUSH! Be quiet you little brat!

Zues: ATLAS!

Little Boy: AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

The little boy goes and kicks Atlas in the shins and pokes him in the eyes.

Atlas: OW!


	2. Chapter 2 Numbers 26 to 50

**26. Bowl**

Annabeth-

Ever been to Superbowl Sunday at Camp Half Blood? It's really a lot of fun, that is, if you don't forget the chips.

Nico: I've got the salsa!

Grover: I've got the queso!

Conner: I've got the avacadomole!

Chiron: And I've got the chi-

The campers all got silent and slowly turned around to face Chiron, the only the noise coming from the giant flat screen T.V on the amphitheater stage to provide backround sound.

Thalia: You what?

Chiron: I-I forgo-

Camper: *Hissing*

**27. Cycle**

Thalia-

You know, when people come and see me thay always ask, "Wow Thalia! How do you keep your hair so lush and shiny?!" Well, you see my young demigod it's my patented techinique "The Demigod Hair Care Cycle", it's three easy simple steps: lather, rinse and don't repeat or you'll take too long and the monsters will find you and then you my friend will be in a very sticky situation! But seriously, YOU PEOPLE ARE DRYING YOUR SCALPS OUT!!!

**28. Ruins**

Percy-

You know when you leave your cabin for five minutes cuz you want to get some stinkin ice cream and then come back to find your cabin in ruins because a certain son Hades thought it would be cool set off some fireworks without a permit. In your cabin. Because they knew they would comepletely destroy their own cabin if they set them off in theirs. And then you end up having to sleep in the Big House where you learn so many disturbing things about Chiron and Mr.D? It's not fun.

**29. Burn**

Percy-

Oh I am so awesome at them! "You want some, Seaweed Brain?" "Bring it on, Pinecone Face!" Ooh burn! Oh yeah good times, good times.

**30. Knit**

Third Person-

One day Percy contemplates about those three creepy old ladies he saw on the side of a road and thinks, your life string is knitted together with a whole bunch of other random peoples's life strings in a really hideous christmas sweater.

**31. Shade**

Percy-

I really hate Ares but I gotta admit, he has got some cool shades.

**32. Blind** (Percy's a detective in this one!)

Percy-

Click click, click click

I was alone once again in my cabin. Pulling the blinds up and down. Click click, click click. All was quiet, My solitude wouldn't last much longer though for a certain young boy opened the door. He didn't say anything, just dropped a thick white envelope on the table, put his hands in his pockets and just as quickly as he had come, he left. The envelope looked back at me, lying on the table. I picked it up and ran a letter opener under the flap. I learned that the envelope was filled with several pieces of paper. All white, all blank. That is, until the last one. Curious. The writing was scrawly and and nearly unintelligible but I could still barely make it out. It said as follows: I have a mission for you Mr. Jackson, should you choose to accept it. Tonight as you know we will be playing capture the flag and I would like to know, what kinda pie are we having? Peace Out cuz! Nico ;).

**33. Land**

Thalia-

Thalia: It is I! Thalia, ULTIMATE RULER OF ALL THE LAND!

Annabeth: She's been doing this for a while, should be worried?

Percy: As long as she doesn't turn into another Luke, she can do this as long as she likes.

Annabeth: It won't last too long, it's all because of that video game she started. Wanna bet on how long it'll last?

Percy: I say two months tops.

Annabeth: I'm thinkin three.

Percy and Annabeth: Deal.

**34. Rage**

Thalia-

Thalia: Oh my goodness! I've almost got the cape of invincibilty! Once I get it I will be unstoppable! A, A, XXY. Yes! Jump! Jump you stupid avatar!

I GOT IT!

Thalia: YESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, now I've just gotta save it.

I pressed the save button.

Thalia: Loading...loading...load-

Byyomp!

Thalia: What? Wha- why is it dark? T.V? Hello? No, no, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------After screaming and kicking for an hour -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Third Person-

Thalia slowly looks up, a wicked expression on her face.

Thalia: Mark my words, for I will exact my REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**A/N: Dun Dun Dun!**

**35. Rain**

Thalia-

Thalia: That's right! Cower Camp Half Blood as skittles rain down upon you like my power would have IF THE STUPID GENERATOR HADN'T CUT OFF!!!!!!!!!

Percy: She's lost it.

Annabeth: It's Luke all over again! Another 5 year problem!

Percy: Let's go to the oracle.

Annabeth: Hey you still owe me 100 bucks! I won the bet!

**36. Plane**

Percy-

Pretty much off limits for me.

**37. Stage**

Percy-

Located at the amphitheater where we hold ULTIMATE KARAOKE every third thursday!

**38. Deck**

Luke-

Like at Camp Half-Blood, we also hold ULITIMATE KARAOKE but we hold it on the deck of The Princess Andromeda and we have it every third WEDNESDAY! Oh yeah, take that dad!

**39. Juice**

Third Person-

That of the pineapple, Tyson soon realizes it is the absolute perfect companion to peanut butter.

**40. Pie**

Percy-

Ah, the ultimate of random words. You see a helicopter in the sky you scream pie, win a million dollars, jump up and down screaming pie, lose a shoelace, scream pie really angrily, save the world from Kronos, EAT pie.

**41. Sneeze**

Third Person-

So my dear children, I have a story to share with you today. Here goes.

A demigod standing next to a pine

in the warm humid breeze of summer 99

He decided to sniff the aroma of a flower nearby

Which caused a large sneeze sending him 20 feet high

This is getting real old, rhyming say buh-bye!

Okay so then the force from the sneeze that sent the one dude to flying up into the sky caused this huge earthquake in camp which caused Chiron to lose his pinochle game and since Chiron lost Mr. D won and since Mr. D won he decided to open a bottle of apple bubbly, but when Mr. D grabbed the bottle he forgot that there had just beeen a huge earthquake and the lid popped off and hit a passing Ares, because Ares was so mad he decided to set fire to the whole camp, THE END!! Well considering this is Camp Half Blood and that would be considered a slow day it's exactly the most exciting story in the world BUT, it was because a demigod sneezed, which is really just the important thing ever right?!

**42. Silver**

Percy-

Not really my style but Artemis apparantly really likes it, shes been running a campaign "Silver Is The New Black!". It's been running for about 500 years...I don't think it's catching on.

**43. Poison**

**Percy-**

Well, it's not exactly a pleasent experiance soooo, rather than dwell unhappy things I shall make a random yet strangely related connection! See, poisen sounds a lot like poisson which is French for fish, and I can talk to fish and Dr. Thorn he like was French, I think, or he pretended to have a French accent but I think he's probably French...yeah.

**44. Animal**

Grover-

Yes, I can talk to animals and that includes fish! Take that Percy! But anyway, you would not believe the attitude of some of them! Especially goldfish! They think they're sooo superior! Why humans keep them as pets I will never know! Oh, and 3 second memory? They hold a grudge forever! So I spilled some liquid nitrogen into their water! You got defrosted! I have met only one kind, mature goldfish in my entire life and that would be Dorothy, at least she had some manners!

**45. Slide**

Annabeth-

Teacher: Okay class, look into your micrscopes and record your observations.

I looked into the microscope and put it into focus, then I heard a faint screaming noise.

Kronos: YOU!!!!!!

Annabeth: Ohhhhh, so that's what happened to you. Well, back to the closet for you!

Kronos: What?! No! NO! NOT THE CLOSET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**46. Plant**

Nico-

Nico: And here I will firmly plant my feet until I get my pudding!

Blink Blink

Nico: Well don't just stand there!

Thalia: Guys look an ice cream truck!

Campers: Yay!

Nico: What?! Don't just leave me here! Come back! Curse you glue!

**47. Rose**

Kronos-

Kronos: Roses are red, violets are blue, you're a terrible person and I HATE EVERY FIBER OF YOUR BEING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Percy: Well, that almost rhymed.

**48. Tea**

Nico-

"Why am I here Nico?" Grover asked as he sat down at the Fairy Princess Tea Party Time table I had carefully set up.

"Because you need two for tea, havn't you heard the song?" I sat down and reached for the teapot.

Grover suddenly stood up, put his hand up and turned his nose away, "Sorry, I'm an espresso man"

"WHY DO YOU HATE ME?!!!!!" I knocked over the table and stomped out, head held high.

**49. Loop**

Percy-

The times I have been kicked out of schools! It's like a never ending loop of destruction involving everything from airborne refrigerators to special guests screaming about the boy who set their hair on fire and whatnot.

**50. Mend**

Luke-

Well dad! I'm still angry at you! And just so you know, time doesn't mend a broken heart, iPods mend broken hearts!

A/N: I never ever thought I would do a word prompt thing like...ever, so I would like to thank WindowChild and ShadowPalace for their contest because at first I only started writing this because I wanted to enter their contest but once I started I had WAY too much fun! The 50 word promt is like just screaming to be random and funny. I'm definitely going to be doing this again! Anyway, in other news, the Demigods Keepin it Real thing is a parody off of Jonas Brothers Livin the Dream. They pretty much contradicted every single sentence they said, for example, "We're really just normal teenagers except we perform in front of thousands of fans every night!". Really? They were even quoted in an interview saying it was pretty much impossible to keep a normal life! I really do not see what they are trying to accomplish with that keepin it real stuff. Can you not just be a good person who acts/dances/sings and doesn't have a normal life? It's kinda part of the job description! Anyway, that's my rant for the day, nothing personal about the Jonas Brothers, not really a big fan but I guess some of their songs are okay. On a happier note, I'm thinkin about starting that America's Next Top Inanimate Object thing as a story, what do you guys think? Thanks for reading this far and checking out my story!

Peace out!

-Magical Flying Pie :D


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